happy birthday, my love

I have much to write, and I will as I have the chance.

I wanted to take this chance to honor my beautiful wife on her birthday. She is everything I need and desire, and I'm thankful to be on this journey with her.

I love you, Sweetness!

presence is everything

Trey had to have an outpatient surgical procedure (urological in nature) done today. It was scheduled early enough that I could be with him (and Kristy, and Trey's siblings) until he was in recovery.

So we're in the prep room at 7 am, and Trey is sitting in the recliner, by himself. He's wearing the assigned gown, and he's really, really nervous. When the nurse comes in to check his vitals, Trey can barely fit his finger into the holder, he's shaking so badly. He works up weak smiles when Kristy asks him if he's all right.

Up to this point, I'm splitting my time between making sure Derek doesn't drive his Ninja Turtle Monster Jam truck into the hallway, and Business Week's exclusive excerpt of Jim Collins' new book. (All the other kids are healthy, so I don't know when I'll get to read Business Week again.) But when I see Trey sitting there, trying to be strong, I set the trucks and the magazine down.

I walked over to where Trey was sitting. "Scoot over," I said. Before he could fully comply, I started dropping myself into the chair. He laughed as he tried to get out of the way, then we laughed as he tried to adjust his gown.

And we sat that way, my arm occasionally embracing the chest that held his fast-beating heart, until the nurse came to take him to surgery.



I could not take away the need for his surgery. And to tell him to not be afraid - to tell him to suck it up - would encourage him, at his young age and with his tender heart, to start putting up facades, to work at convincing people that he was what they wanted him to be, even if he really wasn't.

What I could do was be there. As someone whom Trey loves, respects, and trusts - in other words, as his father - my presence was enough for him to be assured that it would end well, that fear was understandable but not necessary.

The writings of Scripture paint a picture of a God Who is like that. Though He has the capacity to "make everything better" - cue the pixie dust! - more often than not, He doesn't. And the image of God telling us to suck it up is an image projected onto Him by others.

No, the picture painted by Scripture is of a God Who is present. A God Whose very presence assures us that our crisis, our dysfunction, our problem, our pain, will end well.

Hear again the timeless words of Psalm 23:

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

No pie-in-the-sky makeovers. No guilt trips. Just His presence.

And that is enough.

so long, neighbor

I was mowing my yard this evening, and I saw my backyard neighbor sweeping her back porch. I stopped the mower and walked over to say hi, since I hadn't seen her around in a while.

Then I glanced through her patio door, and the house was empty.

She is leaving tomorrow. A career soldier, she is moving to another base, closer to her family.

Our neighborhood is next to Fort Benjamin Harrison, and all the homes in our neighborhood are five years old and newer. So between military personnel coming and going, and the subprime mortgage crisis, there are a lot of vacant houses on our street right now. Families will be in the house one day, and completely moved out the next, often without any arrangements whatsoever.

All of which means that the window of opportunity to make a personal connection can be limited, and can close with little notice. When it comes to relationships of all kinds, time is not a luxury one can assume they have.

I expressed my sincere best wishes to my neighbor, then asked if I could get her email address to check up on her. She happily grabbed her purse and wrote hers down to give to me, then took mine down.

In a few weeks, when she gets settled in, I'll check how she's doing, and start a conversation on how our faith community can more effectively serve the military personnel that live among us. She's going to let me know who I should know among the leadership that remains at Fort Harrison, as well.

And if she ever needs advice, or prayer, or anything, she knows how to find me.

memorial day

I am thankful for the men and women who have given their lives in defense and service of our country. I want to be intentional about remembering them, and passing on my respect for them to my sons. So, I have instituted a tradition of taking my sons to a Memorial Day observance every year.

This year, we attended the annual observance at the Hoosier Patriot Memorial. We were honored to join others huddled under a tent to avoid the rain (which stopped after the service). I captured some images from our time there.










I would guess that there were between 200 and 250 in attendance, including the active military personnel who took part in the ceremony. Most of those attending were in their 60's, at least: of the observers, I recognized one other man close to my age. I saw no children the age of mine. It gave me pause, as I considered what observances such as this might look like in, say, twenty years or so.

I doubt that there are many who are openly ungrateful for the sacrifices of our armed forces in defense of freedom. As I say that, I know that I was someone who rarely was intentional about showing my gratitude, particularly on the national holiday set aside for the purpose.

So let me encourage you to say thanks, by thanking a veteran; by paying your respects to those who died in defense of our country; and by doing it in front of someone who needs to understand why.

third culture to paddington: the weekend

This weekend, we got to meet and spend some time with Ethan and Beth Shields. Ethan is a third-generation missionary to the people of Mexico, and his particular emphasis is on building an aircraft that will allow them access to some of the 62 people groups in Mexico that have not heard the gospel.

Ethan has a unique perspective on ministry and culture. He grew up in Mexico, and before coming to the U.S. as an adult, the longest time he had spent here was two months. His is the perspective of an outsider who looks like an insider, of someone who reaps the benefits of spending time in two cultures. He spoke passionately of how this broadened perspective has benefited and enriched his life and work, and how followers of Jesus could benefit from experiences that would introduce us to other cultures - and provide clarity with which we can observe ours.

He spoke of how excited he is for their young daughter Elena, who is learning two languages as she learns to speak, and the opportunities she will have to learn from being immersed in two different cultures. The ideas and thoughts he shared are similar to those in the broader discussion of third culture, and I recognized some of the ideas shared by Dave Gibbons in his book on third-culture churches.


Ethan had just returned from building the tail of his plane, and he had it with him. So when he spoke at our Worship Gathering, he brought it out to show us. (Ethan will save half the cost of the aircraft by building it himself.)

Ethan also spoke to our Learning Environments gathering on Sunday evening. He shared from his personal experience on some practices that had helped in the development of his relationship with God. The teaching was really helpful for us.

After we wrapped up the time of teaching, we were preparing to share a meal when Shameer told us that he'd been given a bear suit, and he wanted to show us. Apparently, he and his friend used it for a school project, and then his friend had no further use for it.

So Shameer leaves our house, and comes back a few minutes later, wearing the biggest bear suit I've ever seen in person. I couldn't stop laughing, and I had to get my picture taken with Shameer as A Really Big Knockoff of Paddington Bear.

All the kids loved it, except for poor Elena, who was completely frightened at the sight. It made Shameer feel bad. But he tried, and I can add "Being visited by a guy in a bear suit" to my list of Things I Never Thought Would Happen At Church But It Was Totally Awesome When It Did.

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We were also honored to have Frank and Tanika and their two sons with us for our Learning Environments, as well as Kristin, Joshua and Brittany's friend. After we ate, Kristin spent some time with Kristy, and the conversation resulted in Kristin giving her heart to Jesus!

What an amazing moment, at the end of a weekend of amazing moments.